The Tomboy Continuum

Growing up, I was a huge tomboy.  Maybe it was the fact that 98% of my cousins were boys and we played together all the time (football, baseball, basketball, soccer, frisbee, kickball, tag, hide and seek, ghosts in the graveyard, you name it).  Maybe it was the fact that my [single] mom showed me that women can do anything and shouldn't feel limited, and that she was super outdoorsy and encouraged me to spend time playing outside, hiking, looking at bugs and animals and digging in the mud.  Maybe I just wanted to be different than all the girls I knew.  Maybe it was just my personality.  But tomboy I was, and I was proud of it. 

I don't know if I ever actually grew out of being a tomboy.  I mean yes, there were some clear phases in my life:

1. Elementary school: I refused to pierce my ears, or listen to the music the other girls listened to, or wear makeup, or wear any pink clothing, or wear my hair in anything other than a low ponytail.  I was a hardcore soccer player and spelling bee competitor. 
2. Middle school: I actively dressed like a boy.  I wore long cargo shorts or camouflage pants and boys t-shirts (I refused to shop in the girls' section at Target or Kohls when my mom took us shopping), and I would have worn boxers if my mom would have let me.  I beat everyone in my middle school class, girls and boys, in a competition to see who could kick the longest field goal.  I snowboarded because at my school, only boys did, and I wrote a paper about how stupid I thought short-shorts and make-up were.  I even told my step-mom that make-up was for people who were embarrassed by their faces (I was a lil' firecracker sometimes, haha).
3. High school: I transformed my look into a pseudo-punk style ("pseudo," because I didn't really know what punk was, or have the means or desire to actually dress like a "real" punk).  I started wearing girl-jeans and shirts made for girls, but I sewed plaid and striped fabric into my jeans and my shirts were almost all black and/or rock&roll related.  I wore metal and black jewelry and choker necklaces (so cool).  I even had a pair of those jeans with the enormously huge, baggy legs.  I started wearing a little makeup, and I wore dresses to school dances.
4. College: I still struggled often, but in college I finally found my style that I've stuck with for years; blue or black or gray skinnies, boots or Converse or sandals, neutral or cool colored shirts (for ladies!), and a little silver jewelry.  I finally got my ears pierces at nineteen, and I got my first tattoo at twenty.  I enjoy wearing makeup and looking pretty.  I took a lot of women's studies classes in undergrad, and I developed and clarified my thoughts and opinions as a woman and a feminist.  

• To me, being a feminist simply means that I believe in equal opportunities and treatment for those of all genders, and I shy away from gender-specifications as much as possible. For instance, as far as jobs go, a woman shouldn't be judged if she chooses to be a firefighter or a tailor or a homemaker, and a man shouldn't be judged if he chooses to be a dress designer or a stay-at-home dad or a banker.  A woman shouldn't be thought of as any less or more of a feminist or a "real woman" depending on how much makeup she wears, or what her clothes look like.  To me, honestly, style and makeup are so based on personality they're beneath a discussion of human rights, but it's a common theme throughout the literature, and in conversations I've had.
• I believe in completely equal rights for women and men (equal pay for equal work, etc.), though I don't think we should have to use unisex bathrooms or anything.  I think it's fine and common and admirable for women to be proud of being women, and for men to be proud of being men, though this pride should not go so far as to debase, insult or harm others.  I also don't believe there are only two genders; I see gender along a blurry continuum similar to skin color; you can't say someone is "gay" or "straight" any more than you can say someone is "white" or "black;" yes, those labels have important connotations that shouldn't and can't be ignored, but they are much more complex and nuanced, which I think is amazing. 

So, today, you might call me a tomboy or a feminist or a girl or a woman (or just an oddball who thinks about these things way too much).  I'm more secure in my fashion, style, beliefs and mindset than ever, thanks to years and years of being a tomboy: being different and loving it, having friends who loved me for who I was and not what I looked like or what I acted like, and being around people who have taught me and mentored me and supported me through the process of growing up.  I'll never stop learning and I'm sure my beliefs will change over time, but I'm confident in myself and that's all that matters.  I still hate pink. 

--Sammie

Disclaimer: I could literally write or talk about feminism and gender issues for hours, and there's a lot more I didn't have room in my brain to add here, so if you ever want to have a conversation, get ahold of me!

ALSO: I'm going to look for some SWEET tomboy pictures of me in my younger years, which I'll add in an update as soon as I can get my hands on some.